*MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*
Interviewer: "What is your birth date?" Muthu : "13th October." Interviewer : "Which year?" Muthu : "Every year."
*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?" Wife: "No! Why?" Muthu : "In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'. .. that's why." Wife : ?????????
*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village... Muthu said, "No sir, only babies were born here."
*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!" The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked. Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, "I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."
*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror. Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive."
*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin. Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the signboard "* WASH BASIN * "
*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER*
Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?" Muthu: "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. "
*MUTHU GETS ARRESTED*
At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why????????? ??? Because a lady journalist with a badge which read "PRESS" pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did it!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
World Cup Joke
It was just before England vs Brazil at the World Cup. Ronaldinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're shit and we can't be bothered." Ronaldinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down to the pub!"
So Ronaldinho goes out to play England all by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few drinks. After a few pints, they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)". He is beating England all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, lets see how he got on". They put on the teletext once again "Result from the stadium "Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes), England 1 (Crouch 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against England!
They rush back to the stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down!"
"Don't be daft, you've got a draw against England, all by yourself! And they only scored at the very, very end!"
"No, no... I have let Brazil down.... I got sent off after 12 minutes!"
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're shit and we can't be bothered." Ronaldinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down to the pub!"
So Ronaldinho goes out to play England all by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few drinks. After a few pints, they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)". He is beating England all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, lets see how he got on". They put on the teletext once again "Result from the stadium "Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes), England 1 (Crouch 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against England!
They rush back to the stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down!"
"Don't be daft, you've got a draw against England, all by yourself! And they only scored at the very, very end!"
"No, no... I have let Brazil down.... I got sent off after 12 minutes!"
Monday, August 11, 2008
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Funniest post in the history of Internet forums
This is clearly the funniest post(s) in the history of internet forums. Read on... it gets funnier the further it gets! WARNING: ADULT CONTENT(M18). Do not proceed if offended.
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=108500831
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=108500831
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
How to save the Airlines
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
"True Friendship"
"True" Friendship
None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, But never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the fu*king bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will take the piss out of you about it, every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit winging
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, But never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the fu*king bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will take the piss out of you about it, every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit winging
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Difference between good male & female friends
Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night.
The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night.
The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
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